Pause. Rewind.

My sister recently got engaged. What exciting news! I have spent the past 3 hours looking over Pinterest and other websites for Maid of Honor (I almost cried when she asked me I was so excited) duties. I have been looking forward to this day for so long... but I think there is also a part of me that was afraid of it.  I am so incredibly happy for my sister, don't get me wrong. But a selfish part of me is afraid. Afraid of losing (for lack of a better word) her as my sister. She is going to become a wife, and mother eventually. I know that she loves me and will always do her best to be there for me, but it hit me that things are going to start changing now. Quickly. My 12 year old self is saying to my 20 year old self, we're actually growing up now? You mean we're not all going to move back into mom and dad's house after you graduate college and live like we used to?

When I voiced my fears to my brother he said that he has experienced those feelings too, and that growing up is scary - but it's not all bad. Part of me wishes that I had been older when my sister moved out of the house - I was only 13. So much of our relationship has developed in the past 8 years with hundreds of miles between us. She is truly one of the most amazing people that I know and I am so lucky to have her for a sister. I am so luck to have my brother. My mother. And my father. I have been blessed with the most supportive, loving family that anyone could ask for.

My nights studying for tests and making chocolate covered strawberries with friends in college are numbered. The past 3 years have passed faster than any others in my life and I can only imagine that they are going to continue to gather speed as the years go on. The snowball effect is in full force, each year gathering more speed than the last. I just want to pause, take time away from this life to live with my brother, sister and parents a little more before things get carried away. I will never let a year go by where I only see my family once. 

If anything I've remembered something that I've always known: Don't let the little moments slip by, no matter how insignificant they may seem at the time. Especially for someone like me who tends to remember even the most mundane details.

This was a picture I took on my walk to the library... Enjoying the beauty on the way to the finished project.